Why am I all of a sudden so fitness focused?

It’s now more important than ever to be both physically and mentally healthy. I’m not a fitness fanatic or anything like that, but I recognize all the good things that comes from regular exercise. 

In 2019, my goal was to develop healthy eating habits and commit to the keto way of life. I crushed that goal, so in 2020, I’m incorporating regular exercise into my routine. 

I’m pushing 40 in a few months and I want to in the best shape of my life. The only way that I’m going to achieve this is to continue to eat clean and workout to build muscles & strength. 

Why didn’t I have a consistent workout routine before now? 

I was overwhelmed, tired, and didn’t like that it took so much effort. It was a commitment I wasn’t willing to make, especially since I have two kids and work full time.

Not saying that those reasons weren’t valid or legitimate, but it’s still an excuse at the end of the day.  It was an excuse that I granted myself year after year. I would start something and be super committed, but then a few sessions in, I would go back to my old ways. 

It was really hard to admit to myself that I just didn’t want it that badly. It wasn’t a priority for me. I rather scroll through social media than make time to do what I really needed to do. 

I knew what I needed to do and it couldn’t be achieved no matter how I wish or want it to be true. It doesn’t matter that I wanted to be toned. It doesn’t matter that I wanted to lose weight. I doesn’t matter that I don’t have enough time or too tired to exercise.  The only thing that counted was taking action and not just talking endlessly about it. You what they say, done is better than perfect.

What made me change my mind?

In short, going through severe depression and anxiety.

Which lead to medication, therapy (lots of therapy), leaning in on my support system and reading books from some really smart people. Doing these things allowed me to love myself the way I am. I am worthy. I am deserving of love. I AM LOVED.

I learned that in order to be happy, I need to be kind and accepting of myself. Until I’m okay with me, no matter how good my life is perceived to be, it doesn’t mean anything. 

I’m on a continuous journey of growing and trying to improve myself 1% each day. It is so easy to feel insignificant in this big world, but it’s important to change perspective. I’m the world to my kids and husband. Everything I do has a direct impact on them. So forget about what the world think about me, focus on what’s important and be in control of what I can control. 

I can choose to be view a difficult situation as either a learning opportunity or as an obstacle. It’s way more empowering to have a growth mindset than believing that my course is already determined. Nothing is determined until I take action. 

Doing something not so well is okay, only with repetition and constant practice will I get better. Whatever I choose to tell myself is reality. So I choose to be in a constant state of forward momentum. I can only be myself and that’s way easier than trying to be someone else. 


These videos are evidence of my commitment to fitness in 2020 thus far…